By: Olivia Ryder Domestic violence, which is also referred to as domestic abuse or intimate partner violence, is defined by the United States Department of Justice as “a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain control over another intimate partner.” This abuse can be physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, psychological, spiritual, digital, or even economic.
Insults, threats, gaslighting, and sexual coercion are all aspects of domestic violence. In other words, domestic violence includes any abusive behaviors that frighten, intimidate, manipulate, hurt, blame, or injure an intimate partner or family member. It can happen in a wide variety of relationships, including but not limited to married couples, people dating, former couples, family members, and people with shared children. It is important to note that domestic violence can happen to anyone regardless of religion, actual or perceived race, color, sex, age, sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression, marital status, national origin, language capacity, or disability. It impacts every community and people from all socioeconomic backgrounds. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. Meaning, in one year, more than 10 million women and men have experienced physical abuse by their intimate partners. Victims of domestic violence can experience diminished self-worth, anxiety, depression, and feelings of helplessness because of the actions and behaviors of their abusive partners. Free resources and help are available. For more information, contact our Confidential Crisis Line: (317) 731-6140. If you are in a life-threatening situation, call 9-1-1 immediately. By: Jenna Shearer The holidays are a lovely time to spend with friends and family. Many people try to get together and reminisce over the past year’s highs and lows. We also try to relax, recharge, and start fresh in the New Year. However, the cruel reality is that domestic violence doesn’t rest.
According to research, domestic violence increases over the holidays for several reasons:
It is important to recognize the warning signs of domestic violence while spending time with family or friends. A family member or friend may be experiencing abuse. If anyone reaches out for help, listen, and believe them. Take this opportunity to familiarize yourself with the warning signs of domestic violence. Warning Signs of Domestic Violence
You might be wondering what to do if you identify possible warning signs. The most important thing is to make sure that you respect the survivor’s space and avoid putting them in harm’s way by calling them out. Find a way to speak with the survivor about your concerns in private rather than in front of others. Talking about domestic violence saves lives. It’s important that we speak up when something does not feel right. If you are hesitant or unsure of how to approach this conversation, our advocates are here to help you navigate next steps. Local domestic violence agencies offer education and support for victims as well as families and friends impacted by these crimes. Speak with a victim advocate by calling our confidential crisis line at (317) 731-6140. You can also reach us through social media messaging or our contact us page. If you are in immediate danger, please call 9-1-1. By: Cheyenne Taylor Purple Thursday is a cardinal day in Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Today we wear purple to help spread awareness about domestic violence and the free services available to survivors. By wearing purple, we stand in solidarity with victims of domestic violence. We are encouraging everyone to participate and help raise awareness! Post a photo wearing purple on October 21st and add #PurpleThurday to spread awareness and to show your support. Together we can show survivors they are not alone.
By: Kaylee Kriese In the spirit of the cooler weather and the oncoming holiday season, we want to encourage everyone to practice some much-needed self-care. If you’re not feeling excited about self-care, this is for you. Oftentimes, the people who are opposed to the concept of self-care need it the most. We get it; you’re busy. Between the days getting shorter and your list of to-dos getting longer, we know that it’s all too easy not to schedule a time to take a moment and breathe. Below you will find some fall-themed self-care ideas just for you!
There are a million ways to practice self-care, especially in 2021; find what works for you. Some days, it will feel impossible to take even five minutes for yourself. Despite all this, keep pushing forward and working towards your goals. We know it’s hard to put yourself first but take the time to set some boundaries. Enjoy the coffee, put on a sweater, and maybe even do some deep breathing. We promise you’ll feel better for it. By: Kaylee Kriese Complex PTSD is a condition that survivors of abuse might experience as they heal and recover from trauma. It is defined by the National Domestic Violence Hotline as “layers of psychological, emotional, verbal or physical abuse [that] compound, never allowing the mind to catch a break to properly process and heal the trauma from one traumatic event before there is another.”[1] This often happens with domestic violence victims because, as we’ve seen time and time again, abuse is often a repeated offense.
Those who are actively experiencing complex PTSD may respond to triggers of abuse in various ways, from ignoring the problem to becoming irritable without knowing why. They may even experience dissociation, panic attacks, all-consuming flashbacks, nightmares, or hypervigilance.[1] Beacon of Hope Crisis Center has focused much of our attention on helping survivors address these issues. We offer counseling and referrals for mental health needs. Speaking with a trained professional can truly make a difference in the healing process. We also encourage caring for your physical and mental needs. Our blog explores a variety of ways to practice self-care. Be kind to yourself. Unlock your creativity. Accept and acknowledge your feelings. The list goes on. While these are critical steps one must take in healing, we know that when you hear the same thing said in the same way too much, it gets repetitive. It loses its meaning. So, this October, we want to remind anyone reading this that we know your story is unique to you alone, and no one can understand what you’ve been through better than you. Still, we are here to help you through any trauma you may be experiencing, especially as topics of domestic violence surface to the forefront of our minds on social media this month. We’ve said it time and time again: healing is not one-size-fits-all. Healing is an individualistic process that takes time and effort, and it doesn’t start with us; it starts with you. At Beacon of Hope Crisis Center, we work alongside you to create a personalized map to understanding and working through feelings of self-doubt, anger, resentment, hopelessness, and heartbreak. If you or a loved one are seeking help, take the first step and call our confidential crisis line at (317) 731-6140 today. If you are in immediate danger, please call 9-1-1. [1] https://www.thehotline.org/resources/breaking-free-from-ptsd/ By: Lauren Frederick While technology offers us a unique way to connect with our friends and family, it can also be used by abusers to maintain power and control. This is recognized as digital abuse and is a form of abuse that is often perpetrated online or with the use of electronic devices such as cell phones, tablets, computers, security systems, etc.
What exactly is digital abuse? According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, “digital abuse is the use of technology and the Internet to bully, harass, stalk, intimidate, or control a partner.” They also describe it as “a form of verbal or emotional abuse conducted online.” This can be conducted on any social media platform and through texts, calls, and emails. It can envelop your life as digital abuse gives abusers a platform to conduct abuse any time of the day, especially when considering the fact that 79% of Americans spend an average of more than three hours on their phone daily. What does digital abuse look like? Digital abuse comes in many forms. It can include limiting or monitoring a victim’s online activity, including who they follow, message, the posts and content they engage with, and location tracking. It can also involve unwanted messages or posts that are “negative, insulting, or threatening.” Threats might also be made online where the abuser is “sending, requesting, or pressuring you to send unwanted explicit photos,” videos, or sexts. This can lead to blackmailing, which is meant to harm a victim’s reputation, employment options, etc. In some cases, the abuser will create fake social media profiles to impersonate or harass a victim. Another aspect of digital abuse is cyberstalking, a form of stalking in which the abuser uses electronic devices, online activity, and location monitoring to make a victim feel fearful. Abusers might find information about location on apps like Snapchat or “Find My Phone.” They can also find this information through apps with poor security, GPS trackers, cameras, speakers, microphones, and spyware. This behavior is threatening and can make a victim feel like there is no escape. Cyberstalking is intrusive and can impact every area of a victim’s life. What should I do if I am experiencing digital abuse? One of the first steps you should take when experiencing digital abuse is securing all your social media accounts by changing your passwords and utilizing two-factor authorization. Next, investigate your settings and clean up the clutter. You can turn off location sharing on your device, disable Bluetooth when you are not using it, and delete any apps or programs that are not being used. To learn more, speak with a Victim Advocate to complete a personalized safety plan. If you or someone you know is experiencing digital abuse and you would like to talk to an advocate at Beacon of Hope Crisis Center, call our free and confidential crisis line at (317) 731-6140. If you are in immediate danger, please call 911. By: Kaylee Kriese If you’ve been on social media lately, we are hopeful that you have seen plenty of posts about Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Perhaps you’ve been acquainted with domestic violence before. Many people have. In general, if you or a loved one haven’t experienced abuse in a relationship, you know someone who has.
There’s a reason you see #WeStandTogether on our social media so often. For us, it’s more than a hashtag. It continues to exceed beyond a trend or another social media bandwagon to hop onto. For survivors, abuse is incredibly isolating. It leaves them feeling separated from their loved ones and spiraling in guilt, fear, and self-hatred. One of the most common tactics of abusers is to perpetuate the “us vs. them” fallacy, and for a while, it may feel to the victims that their abusers are the only person they have for companionship. Even so, we know that in toxic relationships, this feeling never lasts. Victims of abuse are somehow always the ones left feeling powerless, wanting, and alone. When our advocates champion #WeStandTogether, it is because we never want survivors to feel alone. Our goal is that from this point on, you will forever know that you have a team offering support without judgement. With the dedication of the entire month to domestic violence awareness, we hope that this is especially apparent, not just from our advocates but from other nonprofits, groups, or individuals out there who stand with survivors. Today, on Purple Thursday, we wear purple, a color of peace, courage, survival, and honor, as one unified front.[1] We post because we know that only when we stand together can we all work to help survivors break free from the grip of domestic violence. With the help of our community, we will continue to save lives. Thank you to everyone who stands as an ally to survivors. [1]https://mmcenter.org/stay-informed/domestic-violence-awareness-month#:~:text=The%20color%20purple%20is%20a,end%20the%20cycle%20of%20violence. By: Savannah Tipton We all know someone who has experienced domestic violence, but we may not know who that is in our lives. Survivors walk among us and are often people we are close with including friends, family, and coworkers. It’s difficult to accept this reality but essential to raise awareness that anyone can be impacted by domestic violence. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, “1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner.” However, domestic violence is not limited to physical abuse. Other types of abuse include emotional, psychological, spiritual, financial, sexual, and digital. Domestic violence happens daily, and survivors often feel silenced and alone. We want all survivors to know that free and confidential resources are available.
We can all act as an ally to survivors by educating ourselves about domestic violence warning signs and red flags. If you identify warning signs or red flags of domestic violence in your network or your own life, reach out to a local domestic violence agency to discuss next steps and the resources available to you. Talking about domestic violence saves lives. It’s important that we speak up when something does not feel right. Warning Signs of Domestic Violence
Perpetrators of domestic violence are often likable and charismatic. There is no single description for all abusers. They are not always lurking in the shadows or threatening to the outside world as movies might portray. Many abusers get along well socially at work and in their personal lives. Their behavior typically shifts behind closed doors when they are alone with the victim. Most abusers are only violent with their current or past intimate partners (1). They are also extremely manipulative. This includes minimizing the seriousness of the violence, blaming others for their abusive behavior, and breaking down the victim’s self-confidence. Abusers can threaten a victim directly and indirectly including threats of homicide and suicide. Threats and acts of violence are used to take control over the victim. Threats are often made towards friends, family members, children, and pets. A victim might stay in a dangerous situation out of fear for themselves or those they love. “Abusers repeatedly go to extremes to prevent the victim from leaving. In fact, leaving an abuser is the most dangerous time for a victim of domestic violence (2).” Red flags of an Abuser (1)
At Beacon of Hope Crisis Center, we are committed to breaking the cycle while empowering victims and survivors to take back their life. From providing emotional support to safety planning, let us be your advocate. For more information, contact our Confidential Crisis Line: (317) 731-6140. If you are in a life-threatening situation, call 9-1-1 immediately. SOURCE: We want to give a special shoutout to Futuro Indy, a local pizzeria that gave us a wonderful donation of over $1400. We were pleasantly surprised to receive this amazing news, and are incredibly thankful for this community support. Thank you to Futuro Indy and everyone that came out to show survivors they have allies. Donors really make all the difference in making sure the needs of survivor's are met. Their support means that the survivors we serve can continue to utilize our free services and life changing resources. Thanks again Futuro for your donation! #SupportSurvivors
By: Cheyenne Taylor We want to take this opportunity to give a huge thank you to IndyVet Emergency & Specialty Hospital for their generous donation. IndyVet is an essential 24hr emergency veterinary hospital working around the clock to provide relief and help to Indianapolis pets. They remain a dedicated partner with Beacon of Hope Crisis Center, and once again, they have taken philanthropic action to better our community and have donated $5,000 to our agency.
We are so grateful for their on-going support and partnership with our Foster Pet Program. Pets are victims of domestic violence too and partnerships like this help us save the lives of pets, individuals, and families. When incidents of domestic abuse and pet abuse are located on maps and then you overlay those maps the link between domestic violence and pet abuse is undeniable. This donation will have a massive impact on the lives of those seeking our services. Organizations like IndyVet Emergency & Specialty Hospital exemplify the strength and selflessness that is prominent in Indianapolis, and we deeply appreciate them for helping us and Indianapolis survivors once again. “I cannot state emphatically enough how much the supportive partnership with Dr. Speiser, his partners and his entire IndyVet team are valued and appreciated for all that they do. Take a moment if you are not familiar and visit their website and location. Consider signing up with us to temporarily foster a pet while their family member(s) heal and safely get resettled then that pet victim can be reunited with their family.” – Sandra K. Ziebold, CEO Beacon of Hope Crisis Center We are so proud to have partners with giving hearts like IndyVet Emergency & Specialty Hospital. They are paving the way to change by showing up to help pet victims, and we want to encourage everyone to follow their lead as they set this incredible example for our community. Thank you again, IndyVet Emergency & Specialty Hospital, for your donation and all your hard work! |
About this blog
This blog is about our domestic and sexual violence crisis center, Beacon of Hope. We hope you find it full of helpful information, motivation, creativity, serious facts and positivity. We hope that it will help you know what is happening in our center, in our community and with our events. We hope you follow our blog in support of our organization and our mission. Archives
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